Using limited time to create an intentional life
I want to share about using the awareness and acceptance of our mortality as one of the greatest motivators for living our desired life. This is a topic that is so near and dear to my heart. As I’ve written about in previous posts, when I was 21 my father passed away. He is one of my soulmates and I miss him every day. But through his loss I became aware of my own inevitable death. I’ve used this awareness to be very intentional about how I live my life. This is why I do the work I do today.
We only have this one life as this version of ourselves, why would we do anything but make the best of it?
The inspiration for this post also came from conversations with a few of my clients who have the fear of running out of time in their Human Design charts. For these clients, the fear that time will run out is more present in their consciousness. While we don't want to have an anxious relationship with time, it is important to acknowledge that one day our time will run out. That’s what makes life exciting! If we could live forever how interesting would that be?
I believe the most productive thing we can do is use our mortality as a consistent reminder to be fully committed to living the life we dream of, while also knowing that we will always have enough time for the the things we are destined to do. There is no need to be anxious about time, but we want to be thoughtful about it.
First, let’s discuss anxiety around time and having “enough time”. When we feel anxious about time, it can lead to us rushing and not being fully present. If we are always listening to the voice in our head telling us to rush and that we’ll never get “there”, we end up burnt out and tired. This is different from the voice in our heart that may be saying “we don’t have enough time to spend our days doing dissatisfying things. We want to go for the gold!”
When we address the fears we have around time we can understand what voice they are coming from. If you struggle with always feeling like you don’t have enough time, ask yourself why? What are you prioritizing? Are these the things that matter the most to you? Get to the root of the anxiety. If it is coming from the part of you that never feels like you are doing enough, really sit with that. What does enough look like?
Talk to these fears and see if they are asking you to just chill out or re-prioritize your life, or both.
Once we have addressed the time fears we may struggle with, we want to set ourselves up to work with our mortality in a healthy way. If we were to die tomorrow, we may want to just sell all of our possessions and move to the Caribbean. There is no need to do that right away, but maybe it is what you actually want to do long term. Do the exercise and see.
You can do this many ways. You can visualize your own funeral or simply write as if you just found out you only have x days left to live. Some people recommend writing your own eulogy. Do whatever feels best for you. You can ask yourself questions like, what do I want to feel like I did when I arrive on my death bed, what are the things I wish I would have spent my days doing, etc. The purpose of this is to get clear within yourself about the type of life you want to live and to start now.
Once you do this, keep coming back to the practice of facing your death again and again. Life can be really scary when we start to live on purpose. Make sure that you are continuing to live your biggest, boldest life even when you feel afraid. Nothing helps me do this more than reminding myself that I will die one day and that day may be sooner than I think.
I truly believe that when we feel good about the way we are living, we are much more comfortable with the idea of our death. When we are creating our dream life every day, we can fully accept the time will come for this incarnation to end.
We know we only have this one life, but let’s really know it and live on purpose with a wide-open heart.
Books I recommend for diving deeper: Being Mortal by Atul Gawande and Still Here by Ram Dass.