How well do you know yourself?
I remember when I started on my personal growth journey. I was finishing up college and dealing with the bigger questions about what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, etc. I was reading all the personal development books I could get my hands on and dabbling in meditation. The thing that really surprised me at the start of my journey was how little I knew about myself. I didn’t spend much time alone and if I did, I had activities to do or books to read. I was either studying, sleeping, with friends, or honestly- partying. It was a lot of fun, but I hadn’t done much exploration of my inner-world. Did I even know who I was?
When tragedy struck and my dad suddenly passed away a few months into my senior year, I was too tired to do much of anything. I quit all of my extra-curricular activities. I wrote my thesis in the library and went to class, but besides that I spent a lot of time just being. While this time in my life was really hard and I feared that I would never feel excited about my life again, it forced me to get in touch with myself. What was I feeling? If I didn’t want to go to a party, what did I want to do? What did I want? It was life changing.
Since that time, I’ve had the opportunity to live in a few different countries. Life abroad really required me to get to know myself very deeply. I spent a lot of time alone, in places where I hardly knew the language. There have been embarrassing times, scary times, but also the most joyful times of my life. I can fondly remember moments with myself where I have felt deeply in tune with my inner-world. There is nothing like knowing oneself, or should I say like making the commitment to knowing oneself.
This is what I want to talk about. I have been working one-on-one with clients for over a year now. I’ve had the privilege of reading hundreds of Human Design charts and have had in-depth conversations with many beautiful souls. A conversation I frequently have is about knowing oneself. The pandemic has given people the same opportunity my dad’s passing gave me, a lot of time to face themselves and their lives. Whether you’ve lost a job, lost a family member, or just lost the ability to go out every weekend, the pandemic has been life-changing for most of us. It has forced us to revaluate our lives and if we are brave, get to know ourselves.
Something I notice that we want to do as humans is cling to what we know. We self-identify to feel safe. We love our comfort zones even when we outgrow them. We love to be someone we can describe in a short bio, when in reality we are all so multi-faceted. This is why I believe that getting to know ourselves is a never-ending journey and commitment we need to make every day. Getting to know ourselves allows us to discover who we want to become and what we want to create.
I now have a new offering, which I’m calling Life Architecture Sessions. These sessions are going to be about helping you create and build the life of your dreams. The reason why I am called to do this work is because I know deep in my soul that we are all here to live out our dream life. But for many folks, they feel very far from that or don’t even know what their dreams are. They may start to get to know themselves and be shocked by all the things they don’t like about their lives. Something that may have worked for the past 5, 10, or even 15 years, may not serve them anymore. Without the commitment to getting to know ourselves and checking in every day, we can live our life on autopilot. We don’t even realize we don’t like who we’re with, what we do, or where we live.
If this is you or if you already know what you want and just want help getting there, then this offering is for you. But regardless, getting to know yourself is crucial to living a fulfilling life. Here are some of my favorite ways to get to know myself. May they serve you as well.
Take yourself out. That’s right, take yourself out on a date. A pandemic friendly date of course. You can go for a walk, go to a cafe, or just sit in a park. Ask yourself what you want to do and then go do it- by yourself. Bonus points for putting your phone on airplane mode the whole time. While you are out exploring, really ask yourself what you like and feel into your body. What do you want to eat? Drink? Wear? Tune in and pay attention. Something I like to do on my dates is leave myself voice notes on my phone. If difficult things come up, I record them on my phone for later or listen right afterward and record a response. It is so therapeutic. Remember on this date it is all about you. Treat yourself like a queen/ king. If you want the $11.00 drink at the cafe, get it! Don’t be stingy with yourself.
Journal. Journaling is another great way to get to know yourself. You can write questions to yourself or just write whatever is on your mind. I like to do a big thought dump at least once a week where I write down everything on my mind. Just the process of putting all that shit down on paper feels awesome. There is no wrong way to journal. Buy yourself a pretty one you like and just go for it!
Meditate. Sitting in meditation forces us to tune in. Just a few minutes can make a big difference. Like with journaling, you can’t do it wrong. I cannot emphasize this enough, we all have crazy thoughts whirring around at all times. Meditation is about becoming conscious of those thoughts, feeling into your body, just sitting and being present with your being. There are so many benefits. If you don’t like sitting, you can tune in on a mindful walk.
Put your hands on your heart. The heart center is so magnificent. It has the greatest electromagnetic frequency of anywhere in our body. Our heart is our truth. When we put our hand on our heart, it reconnects us with our true self. I love to do this all throughout the day. I sometimes sit for just a few minutes holding my heart and then write out any messages afterwards.
Just be alone. At the end of the day, to get to know who we are, we have to spend some time alone. Whether that is just for 5 minutes in the middle of a busy day, or a full day when we can swing it, alone time is necessary. The ability to be with yourself and really pay attention to yourself is huge. Shower yourself with presence, attention, and compassion when you are alone. Your true self will feel safe to emerge.
I hope these practices help you as they have helped me. Bearing witness to your own growth is a beautiful thing, but requires some commitment. May you commit to you.